Denise Austin, Eat Your Heart Out!

The Dot is home for a few weeks, and it has been a buh-last hanging out with her! She has done nothing but work for the past three years, getting herself through the last of her undergraduate program, and completing a year of real-world toil as a manager at the university's performing arts center. She was poised to start a graduate film program this fall, but at the last minute decided to scout the underbrush for her career path. We're helping out by inviting her here for free room and board, and some R & R time to get the synapses back into synch. It's sort of a poor man's version of a graduation trip to Europe.

I'm spending the next few months crawling out of the chubby hole, so The Dot has been helping me get my flexibility and stamina back. Mind you, she is a dancer, a runner, does Pilates regularly, and lifts weights. In comparison, I neck-move to “Let's Hear it For the Boy”, try to remember to hold my tummy in when I carry the laundry basket upstairs, sweat with Richard in the VCR, and alternate lifting my thighs as I ascend the five risers from the garage with fifteen pounds of groceries dangling from each hand. She's ahead of me in the fitness gig, but I'm making headway.

Which brings me to today's thought. People tend to think of quilting as a sedentary activity. Cha-ah! I don't think so! As an example, let's take a look at the whole quilting-in-the-church-basement thing from this summer.

We quilters got the day going at dawn, and after arranging our appearances to the safe side of scary, we started loading our vehicles. There was the machine, the cutting mat, the bag of supplies, fabric, and for some, a light lunch. I always had my Nalgene along, adding another thirty-two awkward ounces of gear to haul. When we pulled up to the east doors of the church, we prayed for parking within a half a block of the entrance. Once inside, there was the trip across the lobby, down one flight of stairs, turn the corner, down another half flight, turn at the landing, down again, take the short walk through the Upper Youth Room, then down the last flight of dang stairs with no railing, and, finally, into the Lower Youth Room. You couldn't usually get all your stuff down in one trip, either, wouldn't you know. Brother.

Plugging in the machine involved crawling on the floor in search of the extension cord or the outlet, and setting up our workspaces afforded us the opportunity to bend from our knees. We were stretching and reaching to cut over the mat, bending to pick up lost pins, running to and from the ironing boards, racing off to the bathroom every twenty minutes (thanks to the Nalgene), and making the trip back up all those stairs and across the foyer to the Education Building, in order to use the copy machine. The experience did not exactly spell s-i-t-t-i-n-g o-n y-o-u-r f-a-n-n-y. No sir, it was cardio, I'm telling you, cardio!

I was reminded of this today when Val, from the summer class, called to see if I had a few minutes to help sandwich her quilt. As you may recall, I use Sulllivans® Quilt Basting Sp-raaaaay, and the “spray” part is said like a “ta-daaaaaaa”! Sulllivans® Quilt Basting Sp-raaaaay is the best invention known to quiltkind, and as far as I'm concerned, there's a right way and a wrong way to use it. Actually, there are probably several right and wrong ways to use it, but I know one of the right ways, and I'm willing to share the wealth. You don't want to pull a muscle and be out of commission for weeks. Quilter's can't afford that kind of down time – there is just too much fabric out there demanding our attention.

Having a hands-on demonstration facilitates the learning process, and Val was ready for a 1:1. As we commenced with the sandwiching, phrases from my work-out videos kept running through my head. Using Sulllivans® Quilt Basting Sp-raaaaay is not only very aerobic, it's good for toning, too. In the first step, the newspapers have to be unfolded and laid around the perimeter of the quilt.

“Now we're ready to do a few squats to warm up a little. Doing squats is one of the best ways to engage the large muscles groups of the body, and if you build that muscle, it will burn your fat for you! Be careful not to extend your knees over your toes.”

Since laying out newspapers isn't one of the fun parts of quilting, rushing through it tends to get the heart rate up.

“I know you can feel yourself getting warmer now. Just a little longer. There, that wasn't so bad, and I guarantee it will get easier the more you do it.”

We unfurled the batting, and then it was down onto the floor to get the creases and lumps under control.

“Lift your chest up to a Modified Cobra Pose, soft belly, soft throat. Come back down. Raise up to Downward Dog, then move one leg forward to a lunge.”

By then, we were breathing harder...

“...stre-etch and hold, stre-etch and hold...strrrrrre-etchh just a little more....and release.”

Once the batting was smoothed, we returned to an Upright Mountain Position, and whipped out the backing. Each taking a short side, we positioned it carefully over the batting, and slowly lowered ourselves back down onto the floor.

“This is really good for the Powerhouse, which can be found in the area between your shoulders on the upper end, and between your hips on the lower end. Let's test that. As you exhale, keep your belly button pressed into your spine. Remember to keep the ribcage folded in. Tha-at's it. Even if you do the modified version like Dagne is showing you, you will still strengthen your Powerhouse.”

With our backsides tucked under and our spines in a C-curve, we smoothed the backing over the batting, then carefully pulled it towards us, sprayed the batting, and smoothed the backing over the surface again to bond it.

“Squeeze those cheeks in, and don't lower your back. Tha-at's the way. Goo-ood! Now, move from side to side in a gentle rocking motion, keeping your shoulders and hips aligned, and maintaining control of your Powerhouse.”

We continued on in similar fashion, flipping the sandwich over, and laying out the quilt top. I have discovered that careful smoothing of the quilt top, in order to prevent distortion of the pieced design, is a great way to cool down.

“Remember, we have a natural filtration system in our noses. Breathe in through the nose, and out through the nose. In through the nose, out through the nose...”

It was difficult to remember to keep my abs tight as we picked up and repositioned the top in order to smooth out the wrinkles. I kept wanting to let my back lower and release my mid-section.

“Your abs are nature's back brace. Concentrate on keeping them tight and strong.”

Oops. That one came from my physical therapist.

By sticking with it and getting through the entire routine, we finished our workout in twenty-eight minutes of running time. We extended ourselves back up to our beginning positions, reached out, folded the sandwich, and released all the air from our lungs one final time. Inwardly at least, we were doing the Proud Warrior.

“Good for you! I am soooo proud of you. You did a great job, and you deserve to feel healthy and have a shapely body. Only you can bring health and happiness to your life. You can do it. I know you can!”

I am already beginning to feel the benefits of Mari Windsor and Rodney Yee's personal attention at five o'clock each morning. Once again, I am able to turn in my car seat to back out of the garage without pain. Shortly, I'll be noticing the promised return of tone to my mid-section, and the bathroom scales won't fall over laughing when I step on them at my weekly weigh-in. As soon as I am cheerful enough about the whole process, I'll pop in Denise Austin in the morning, do a little salsa and cha-cha-cha, confident that my endurance level will allow me to continue quilting for hours at a time.

I only hope the Dot will be able to keep up with me.

Copyright © September 2005 Kari E.O. Burns