My brand new, dropped-down-the-chimney-by-Santa computer was ambushed this week by the soberworm virus. At least that’s what one of the first in a long string of tech support guys suspected. I thought perhaps Mr. Norton had been asleep at the switch, but my techie explained that the soberworm is like a thug on the corner, waiting for some unsuspecting download to assault.
Things are improving. I have been teetering between tears and shrieking madness at increasingly less frequent intervals, and I have restored some of the things I thought were lost forever. I am not a techie in the true sense of the word, but I have been able to teach myself most of what I need to know to become totally dependent on this machine for all my daily information needs. T-man and The Dot observe that I can’t make it through dinner without looking up something on the Internet, but they exaggerate a mite. Sometimes I wait until after the dessert course.
Hubba tries to give me helpful pointers. Next to him, I look like Bill Gates, but he’s in there plugging for me. It must make him mightily uncomfortable to hear the human noises that come from the library when I discover things like my computer and PDA won’t synch. He’s tenderhearted, and would do anything to help me fix the situation. His suggestions, in the form of, “Would it help if you….?” most often result in me explaining to him why that wouldn’t work, and go something like this:
“No, that’s not what this is about. Don’t worry, I’ll figure it out.”
The meta-message, for you linguists in the room, is:
“Leave me alone. I have enough to deal with without giving a lesson in Computer for Dummies.”
Poor Hubba. And he was Santa this year. As soon as I figure out how to get my fonts back, I’m going to give him a hug.
So, this is life in the Midwest for me today. Computers, 800 numbers, tech people, and the Super Highway. There are times I wish we were as backward as the stereotype, when all these time-saving devices didn’t keep me from quilting!
I’ll see you next week – I need to go feed the cybergods now.
Copyright © 2006 Kari E.O. Burns
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