Uh-oh.
I had a few minutes to myself yesterday, and even though I had plenty of other things to do, I pulled out a quilt and stitched on it.
I have been denying myself quilting time in recent weeks because I consider the time I spend quilting to be decadent. Subliminally I think it’s one of the ways I reward myself, as is a luscious piece of good cake or a fragrant, warm bath.
The quilt I stitched on isn’t anything artistically special, but it is special. It’s for T-man, and was originally slated to be his high school graduation quilt. I had two other graduation quilts that spring, one for a niece and another for a godson, so I put T’s last on the list. I had the fabric, in a pleasing combination of Coe College-inspired colors, which necessitated a two-color design. I settled on the “T” block, of course! When pieced, the “T” is visible in both the positive and the negative. The muted crimson “T” blocks stand out obviously enough, but on second glance, the soft golden “T’s” appear, slanted towards the other direction in the background. I was able to find some nice homespun fabric in these two colors, as homespun is manlier for a college baseball player.
Not long after we bid him farewell for his first year at Coe College in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, I took a job as the county tourism director. There was a lot to learn and a lot to do, and I kept myself focused on that task until I was recruited away to another position. That was another year of new stuff to learn, and the soft crimson- and golden-colored T-block fabric remained by the sewing machine, untouched. I took not a single stitch, nor even designed a simple wall-hanging, from September of 2002 to March of 2005. It was like having a limb removed.
I made the decision to release myself from the last position – it really wasn’t a good match for my interests or abilities. The hours were long and arduous, which wouldn’t deter me, but they consisted of activity that failed to enhance any part of my extended life. I was left too depleted to do anything other than work and veg.
I started blogging not long after I turned in my resignation, and I picked up a quilt. The quilt top was completed, and it just needed stitching. As I stitched, I got my “me” back, and I could feel the flow of inspiring relief course through my entire system. Of queen-sized proportions, that quilt took me several weeks to finish, and by the end of it, I was more aware than ever of my core need to keep creatively alive.
My next assignment was the T-block quilt. I played around with the design so the quilt wouldn’t have an “up” or a “down”. It is bordered in a large crimson and gold checkerboard, so I ran another trail of it horizontally, smack dab across the middle of the quilt. As a result, the “T’s” run in both directions on either side of that center checkerboard, which accomplished my mission.
As happens with me once the juices begin to flow, I designed another few quilts and completed one for a special high school graduate. This was closely followed by teaching quilting classes at church, and dealing with the flurry of lint that was stirred up there. A trip to the Pacific Northwest, the launching of my cake-baking business, substitute teaching, holidays, and so on and so on (and so on) left little time for quilting. I complained about there not being enough hours in the day, but I was using the hours I had in creative and fulfilling ways.
There just wasn’t any quilting.
I think I’ve figured out why. I have often said that learning to quilt ruined my life, and once I get started, I don’t want to do anything else! There isn’t a task related to quilting that I don’t enjoy. I love everything from washing the fabric to attaching and laying down the binding. It’s kind of sick, in a non-demented way. You see, I hesitate to start working on a quilt because I’m afraid I’ll never put it down again, and be lost to lint forever.
One of these days I’ll discover A Happy Medium. There must be some way I can schedule in a little quilting time, a little cooking time, a little laundry time, and a little writing time, all in the same day. I will mature out of the “if-a-little-is-good-a-lot-must-be-better” quilting mentality, and downgrade it to something similar to breathing, as opposed to something akin to compulsive gambling. Maybe the solution will dawn on me someday when I’m stitching away. Until then, just kindly leave me alone when I’m quilting, and don’t assume that I will do things like take bathroom breaks or answer the phone. I can’t do everything, you know!
Copyright © January 2006 Kari E.O. Burns
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