KEOB

I bet I get twenty-five fill-out-this-survey-and-pass-it-on e-mails every year. I haven’t filled one out since 1997, when the first one hit my inbox, because, frankly, who the heck cares about all this stuff, anyway?

One came in today, and I decided to fill it out and send it on. The accompanying directions say that each person who receives this e-mail must send it on, and send it back to the person who sent it to them. I decided to comply. I wonder who, if anyone, will even read the dang thing, let alone fill it out and send it back to me. In case you’re wondering, here’s what I said:

1. First name? Kari.

2. Were you named after anyone? Kari Solem, a little old Norwegian-born lady who pronounced it “carry”.

3. When did you last cry? It’s hard to keep track – I’m a BIG crybaby.

4. Do you like your handwriting? Yes, when I take my time.

5. What is your favorite lunchmeat? Mesquite-roasted turkey, deli-style, but right now I’m on a hummus-and-pita-bread kick.

6. Kids? 2 – 3 if you count the baby, Hubba.

7. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? Absolutely! I’d be tempted to form a fan club of my admirers!

8. Do you have a journal? No, but I blog. I’m so 21st Century.

9. Do you use sarcasm a lot? I suppose what you really mean is, “Are you a snotty person?” Well, yeah. I suggest you put on the daddy pants and take it like an adult!

10. Do you still have your tonsils? No.

11. Would you bungee jump? I cannot think of a single scenario that would make me think bungee jumping is a good idea. (My sincere apologies to all of those who, before reading this, thought I would die for them.)

12. What is your favorite cereal? Raspberry granola from the Co-op.

13. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Not always. Sometimes I have the servants do it for me.

15. What is your favorite ice cream? Peanut butter and dark chocolate.

16. Shoe size: 6-7.

17. What is your favorite color? Although I’m not consciously aware of it, it must be all shades of purple. My dang house is painted purple, for crying out loud.

18. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? When I don’t have enough energy to do all the things I want to do.

19. Who do you miss the most? Morgan & Tad (living), and my mommy (The Peg).

20. Do you want everyone to send this back to you? I’ll be amazed if anyone even reads this.

21. What color pants and shoes are you wearing right now? Very light tan shorts, black spangley flip-flops.

23. What are you listening to right now? The grandfather clock my dad (The Barn) made me, ticking away.

24. If you were a crayon, what color would you be pink/green? Pink – hot pink – with glitter.

25. Favorite smells? Cake baking.

26. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Hubba.

27. First thing you notice about people you are attracted to? Simultaneously, their senses of dignity and humor.

28. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Yes!

29. Favorite drink? Lately, it’s been fresh-squeezed limeade.

30. Favorite sport? Quilting.

31. Hair color? White/gray, hidden beneath a lovely blend of light, medium, and dark blonde.

32. Eye color? Hazel.

33. Do you wear contacts? I just started wearing them again more often, but not all the time.

34. Favorite food? Cake Buzz.

35. Last movie you watched? I have no idea, but it could have been ‘O Brother, Where Art Thou” with the Ormords. The Tootsie Chicks are having a film festival, though, so I'll be watching something!

36. What color of shirt are you wearing? Black.

37. Summer or winter? Summer, with the long daylight hours.

38. Hugs or Kisses? Hugs, because you can exchange those with everybody.

39. Favorite dessert? Same as #34.

40. Who is most likely to respond? I’m amazed I’M responding!

41. Least likely to respond? No pressure, gang. Don’t worry about it…

42. What books are you reading? An Ava Gardner biography and a book called What Jesus Meant (which sounds terribly presumptuous, but it turns out it isn’t – in fact, it seems to be exactly what I thought Jesus was saying, which was, among other things, love each other and stop thinking some of our sins make us unsuitable to be preachers and believers – dang hypocrites!).

43. What's on your mouse pad? I don't need to use one, but if I did, I have a nifty one my brother Neil made up for us with all our family’s names on it for our family reunion this summer!

44. What did you watch last night on TV? Court TV, “Power, Privilege, and Justice”. I know. I’m sick.

45. Favorite sounds? The ocean, party/restaurant noises, reggae/R & B/jazz/indie music, and the one I am waiting to hear, “You have just won $1,000,000,000!”

46. Rolling Stones or Beatles? Beatles, but really Ricky Nelson, who died before he had the chance to marry me. (Hubba is cool with this. He's had to live with it for 30 years.)

47. The furthest you have been from home? I don’t know, but I’ve never been off this continent.

48. Do you have a special talent? I make the world's most awesome cakes and quilts, and yet still bear the remarkably uncanny ability to be completely humble about doing both of them.

49. When and where were you born? December 27, 19-none-of-your-dang-business, at St. Joseph Hospital in Ottumwa, Iowa.

50. If you won a round trip ticket to anywhere in the world, where would you go? I don’t care, as long as Hubba can go with me. He is my favorite companion, and it’s never as much fun when he isn't with me.

I can be so wordy.

Copyright © Kari E.O.Burns, August 2006